The Boy, The Man, The Journey- Part VI: Sweet Elaine

Sweet Elaine:

They were together for many months.

He thought that she was perfect,

He thought that he knew what she wants.

For once there wasn’t shame,

For once there was no one to blame.

He thought that it was ok,

But it wasn’t and it was all going to end some day.

She told him that there was no chance,

No chance of them continuing this romance.

So he got in his car,

And boy did he drive far.

He was trying to get away.

But he knew that this was always going to be his fate.

He gets up, he wants to change.

He’s tired of feeling alone, he’s tired of being the same.

So he starts to run

Towards the shining sun.

But it feels like it’s too late,

And it feels to him like it’ll always be the same.

But he tries and he preservers.

He’s working the hardest he’s worked in years.

It still hurts him to the bone,

The night she left him alone.

And he thinks that now he’s in shape,

That she’ll fall back with him and continue their little game.

It seems to work but every time he asks,

She turns away and hides in the grass.

She is so conflicted,

But in the end he’s always rejected.

He wishes that he knew the right words to say.

But he doesn’t and in the end she never came.

She never told him, but she loved another.

It’s even sicker than a girl loving her own brother.

She loved an old man,

The boy just couldn’t understand.

He thought of him she was ashamed.

But really she was the one to blame.

But now the summer had come,

She was happy but he was glum.

She finally had the man she always wanted,

And the boy he felt so haunted,

And led astray

By the girl who’d once held him in such a way.

Now he knows it had nothing to do with his weight.

She was just weird, she was irate.

So he let it all go

And once again he’s all alone.

You wouldn’t believe how much he ate,

And how much he thought of sweet Elaine.

So they broke it off, they’re not even friends.

But sometimes he still likes to pretend

That she’s still kissing him from mouth to cheek

As he sits by their spot next to the creek.

He wishes that she was not so full of hate,

He wishes that she was coming back to stay.

Hunters In The Snow: Landscape Story

The day had been long.  Sunny, my eldest dog looked up at me with a miserable look on her face.  She was thinking exactly what I was thinking.  Another day, another unsuccessful hunt.  The other dogs were tired and miserable as were the rest of us.  Spears across our backs, our dreary eyes strayed to the horizon as we saw our town.  Life continued for them like it does everyday.  But here we are, tired, lonely and without food.  

Waking up every goddamn day when the Sun rose, and hunting until the Sun fell on the same day.  It was trivial, it was tedious, but this was the life we had chosen.  This was the way we supported our people.  How disappointed they would be when they found out that we had come back with absolutely nothing but the clothes on our backs.  

Some days we were successful, others we weren't, but we hadn't had a successful day in such a long time.  Longer than I could remember.  Food was scarce, action had to be taken.  As I looked into the eyes of my companions, we all knew without one word that we had to find some meat tomorrow, or our rations would become low and all of our lives would become endangered.  

Rape of Proserpina

The analysis of the work:

The realism of this work is just- wow, it's insane.  The stone looks completely like flesh in every way.  You can even see in the forceful way he touches her, I mean those look like fingers pushing into skin, and the body parts look absolutely real.  It took me a few times to look at this and realize this was actually a sculpture.   

What also interests me is how different this sculpture looks at different angles.  I was looking at another picture of the work, and it didn't seem as impressive from a far away angle, but the closer angles really reveal the true mastery of the breathtaking realism that this work truly holds and it can't really be experienced until you see it up close.  It just adds so much more to the work.

The myth behind the work:

The sculpture depicts an old story in Roman mythology.  Proserpina tries in vain to escape her attacker, Pluto, lord of the Underworld, wants to her to become his wife.  Proserpina, as you can tell, isn't too wild about this idea and neither are her parents.  

Jupiter, her father sent Mercury to free Proserpina from the evil clutches of Pluto, but before agreeing, Pluto made her eat six pomegranate seeds from the Underworld which meant she could no longer return to the world as a mortal.  She would spend six months with her family and six months with Pluto.  This symbolizes the changes in seasons that we have and in Roman mythology, is the reason we have seasons in the first place.

The Boy, The Man, The Journey- Part V: In A Daze

In A Daze:

When you wake up, it’s the first thing you see.

You stare into the mirror and think this cannot possibly be me.

But it is and you realize that you’re as big as a balloon.

You can’t believe you never noticed, this happened way too soon.

So you decide to fake it, you decide to tuck it in.

But it makes no difference, you can’t remember when

All of this happened, and how everything began to boil in the pot.

I guess your mother just fed you without ever giving it any thought.

So now you’re bound to have a heart attack at the age of nineteen.

Or maybe if you’re lucky someone will help you from a dream.

But that person is not here, he never comes.

You just keep on eating, expecting it to go down like the sun.

Eventually you grow out of this phase.

But remnants are still there and you’re still in a daze.

Everyone around you looks so good, they look so thin.

You try all you can, but there’s no way in hell you’ll ever fit in.

And when people tell you how good you seem to be

You think they’re just being nice, because they’re the only ones you ever see.

And when you’re teased about it, your head begins to run.

You just retreat on to the couch away from all the bums.

No one ever treats you like you’re really there.

They make fun of you, make fun of the grease in your hair.

But in the end it doesn’t matter, you think you can make it through.

But I don’t think you really know what you want to do.

You were able to fight it, but in the end it didn’t matter.

You lost what you were fighting for, and in your sorrow all you ate was pancake batter.

And in the back of your mind, you think someone will come around.

But right now it doesn’t matter, right now you’re stuck in this horrible town.

So as you go to sleep it has returned again.

And it comfortably sits there as fat as a hen.

You wish you were normal, you wish you were thin.

Ah, but you’ll never get there if all you do is sit in the den.

The Taking of Christ by Carvaggio: A summary and a response

Carvaggio's depiction of Jesus being taken away is a powerful one to say the least.  Carvaggio shows the image with painful realism and brings these characters to life with his ability to make images seemingly leap off of the canvas right at you.

Judas seems to be trying to stop the soldiers from taking Christ, while Jesus himself seems just reluctant in general, sort of not really able to believe that this is happening to him, but knowing that it is a necessary part of his journey as the savior of the world, but is having a difficult time accepting it.  I also find it, in a sick humorous way the expression on St. John's face (the man running out of frame).  His expression just says it all.  Pretty much, "WE'RE ALL SCREWED!  RUN!"

It also is rumored that the man holding the lantern is Carvaggio himself.  To me it seems that through this painting, Carvaggio puts himself into this time and it shows that he has put so much effort into this work that he is literally there, in the flesh.

Carvaggio's paintings certainly have a dark side to them, and they reflect his volatile personality.  This work is no exception.  Dark, but masterfully creative with a completely dark background, this painting shows one of Christ's darkest moments, and does it very well.

MIDTERM REPORT: PART II The First Gasp, The Final Breath.

There was hardly anytime. Was that the Sun? No, no it wasn't. The Sun had already risen on this day. It was what we had all been waiting for, it was what we all feared was going to come. It was what they warned us about. It would only be a matter of moments before we were all wiped off the face of this planet and as we took our final breaths, new life would take its first gasp.

The streets were screaming with panic while the path around our church lay in desolation. No one approached it, no one tried. There was no reason. Inside, some pray, others sit with their families, huddled in fear, not able to face reality.

But then again, this was what they warned us about.

I turn away from the window as the world is closer and closer to becoming engulfed in flame. There are the sounds of gun shots, squealing breaks, collisions, screams. Panic. It fills the air. Not just panic, but pain. Desperation fills people's hearts. The desperation to live after they wasted their entire lives never looking at what reason they had to be here or why they were here in the first place.

Their souls were damned.

Then again, I began to think about it in the final moments, watching the fear ridden members of my congregation. Why was this the time for the end? Why, after all this time did God decide to take everything away from us? Maybe he felt it time for those who truly believed to finally join him while man, caught up in his wars and corruption and lust for greater power now trembled as they had now pointed the gun to themselves. Maybe this is what God was waiting for in the first place. Maybe he needed to wipe the slate clean like he did with the creatures from millions of years ago. Everything that has a beginning has an end.

It comes closer now. Two Suns. Two Suns in the sunset. Two Suns in the west. The world had begun to turn black. The great shadow, the message sent by God was seemingly coming faster now.

All my life I believed in God. All my life I trusted his word, but now I felt conflicted. But now, well over the last few days really, I'd begun to wonder why he'd forsaken us? It was a moment when I identified with our Lord Jesus Christ. He who had given his life wondered why God had betrayed him as he lay dying on the cross. What the savior did was for the greater good, to help the world. But why would God destroy those that were faithful to his message and more importantly, to him?

More people begin to panic. Some leave the church, it really doesn't matter to me anymore. I feel for the first time in my life, apathy. Why care about anyone else, or even myself when there is nothing else to live for? It's wrong to feel this way, but I can't help it. I don't even feel human anymore.

Fights rage outside, others fornicate. Odd, yet it seems so natural. They can only take so much of the notion of impending death.

It's funny, I gave my life to God but I ended up more alone than anyone because I gave myself to my creator, to spread his word to a race of creatures that refuse to believe in him anymore. Regret fills my mind. I could have done so much more.

The building has begun to shake. Tears fill my eyes. I look out the window again as the world comes into focus. The two suns become one. I can no longer see. There is only blinding white light now as I feel this burning pain. And it seems to last forever, and ever.

A new born babe....






This story was inspired by this picture I took of the final church I went to. While I could have gone into detail about the craftsmanship of the building or its scale, the picture inspired me to recreate it. I went into Photoshop and made it seem like (or well, I hope so at least) that a giant comet was about to strike the earth, and the world's final moments were told from the perspective of a preacher.

When I took this picture, there was this bad glare because of the Sun. I didn't really know how to frame the photo to get the glare out of the church, but that is when inspiration struck. I got this really quick emotional burst, something I've always wanted to write about: Nuclear holocaust, last place of survival: church.

Then I thought about it again. No, no. Needs to tie in to more of what the image is about. God should be destroying the world. A comet, God sends a comet to destroy the world and it's told by the perspective of someone in the church.

It was funny how that glare, that glare that I just couldn't shake off pretty much formed this whole story.

I'm a storyteller, a writer. This is my story. I'm proud of it. I believe this fits into, maybe not conventionally, but a written description of this work. At the same time, I think it could also fall into the visual category. Again, unconventionally. I think the photograph itself shows some of the final moments before the Earth is struck by the comet, and the preacher's story represents how the world looks just before it meets its end.

MIDTERM REPORT: AHHHHHH! The Great Church Adventure, Part I.

I went out last Sunday of all days to look at various churches to try and get some pictures, particularly of the interior since I've always found the interior of churches to be very nice to look at even though I'm not a huge fan of going to church. The one thing that would always fascinate me were the stain glass windows. With the help of my GPS I typed in the word, "Church" into the search and well, let's just say that there are churches on nearly every block of Winston Salem.

I ran into a few problems though. I went to about four churches from the span of about 4-4:45 and each one, on a Sunday, was closed. Fun. So no interior pictures for me. I took various snap shots of the outside of churches and the outside of stain glass windows.

It was interesting too, because outside of UNCSA, Winston Salem is a completely different place. I don't venture out too often into the outside world. My friends and I are pretty content with staying on campus unless it's the weekend, but I had never been to this part of the town.

Various churches such as "The Trinity Moravian Church" and the other three I went to are located all pretty much right next to each other in very small neighborhoods, and lower class housing. It was strange having all these things virtually at your fingertips and then seeing all of these people, especially children, in these neighborhoods who just don't have as much as you do. It kind of brings you back down to earth, and makes you thankful for what you have.

I remember one of the churches I went to was primarily a Hispanic church. There were a few people outside of the church in the back parking lot where I preceded to park to gain entrance into said church. The moment I got out of my car, all I could hear was laughing and them talking in Spanish about who I was and why was I here, while others just chose to ignore me, so I ignored them. I looked down and I walked towards the front of the church.

Like the others, it was locked, and I was kind of glad it was. If there's one thing I have, it's social anxiety. I got a few exterior snap shots and decided to leave. As I came back, I saw out of the corner of my eye, one of them pointing at me and just laughing his head off, and the rest of his friends and/or family joined in with him. I quickly got into my car and got out of there.

I don't like to be mocked, and for my whole life until I got here, I've never really felt fully socially accepted, except for my few close friends I have back home. So this brought up a bunch of uneasy feelings for me. Memories of being teased in high school, rather completely ignored pretty much through high school began to hit home as I drove with the sun in my eyes in the little big town that is Winston Salem.

The last church I came to, which was also pretty darn close to the previous one was really big. I knew that by this point this one wasn't open either, but I tried anyway. I went up to the huge set of doors and tried to open them. Locked. Damn it. Oh well. At that moment three little kids sped past me. I think they were playing hide and go seek. But it was strange. I was an adult now, I was the one that kids want to stay away from and not recognize. Not just as superiors or as elders, but simply as people.

I watched them run by and also just felt sorry for them. I don't know, maybe my current mindset just makes me feel sorry for people even though I fully don't know their situations, but these kids were dressed in pretty ratty clothes, and they were all really skinny, they seemed underfed. Who are their parents? Damn it, Where are their parents? Shouldn't they be giving their children a better life than this?

I got a few more snap shots and sat on top of my car for a few minutes watching the kids play. They were having fun, at least it seemed like they were happy. But I just didn't like the way they looked. They just didn't look like physically healthy kids. It sort of made me reflect even more on my own personal benefits and the life that I have taken for granted and the things I should be grateful for when it seemed like these kids just didn't have anything at all, and I had everything. What made me more deserving? I don't know.

Well, this was Part I of my assignment. Part II will be up shortly. I know this has nothing, I mean nothing at all with what we're supposed to do with what you mentioned on your blog, the next part will, I swear. I just felt like talking about this.

The Boy, The Man, The Journey- Part IV: Three Women

Three Women:

You girls are all the same, you don’t seem to know-
How easy it is to break my heart, you think someone would have told you so.
One of you said you thought of me as a brother,
One of you said I talked to you as if I was your mother.
One of you said I was no different than the others,
And now none of you think about me.

I wonder about you all, how we used to be.
You all at one time seemed to love me,
But I guess that I was too desperate or too blind to see.
One of you said that you couldn’t commit,
One of you had a breakdown or to be a little nicer I’ll call it a fit.
One of you said I just couldn’t get my head out of my own shit,
And now none of you think about me.

Why is it when someone sees me, they seem to turn away?
Why is it when we meet-
They seem to keep walking down the street?
One of you said that we’re too different and I can’t change,
One of you said that you couldn’t get your head around this game,
One of you said that I was insane,
And now none of you think of about me.

Now whenever I think of you, I just can’t stand the pain.
And when I put my heart out into your hands,
Each of you merely crushed it like a can.
One of you said that you were apathetic,
One of you said that I was such a critic,
One of you said that I was just pathetic,
And now none of you think about me.

But right now I want to think, think about when it was good.
There was a moment when it seemed like we’d be together like I thought we should.
One of you was the girl of my dreams,
One of you was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen,
And even though you were mean
Sometimes you were the sweetest thing,
And now none of you think about me.

The Last Judgment

This is my depiction of "The Last Judgment" by Michelangelo. I find this to be one of the most incredibly deep pieces of art I've ever seen. There is so much detail and care put into every inch of this sprawling, massive piece of work that it took me a long time to find what I wanted to talk about.

But then I found this part of the painting. Sort of in the bottom right hand corner if my memory serves me right. What appears to be some sort of demon preparing to smite a group of people. This appealed to me and I began to work on this piece in Photoshop to make it my own.

I decided that the background, the people themselves and everything else was too bright. For such a dark thing to be happening, I thought it would interesting to see this part of the painting in a much darker light. I basically just made the background, the demon and the people sickly looking. Just straight up disturbing in my opinion. I turned down the contrast, turned up the highlights and did a strange combination of things with the various layers of the Photoshop program, something I am new at and is a fun thing to fool around with.

This is my interpretation of "The Last Judgment". Enjoy.

The Mona Lisa

This is a picture I took of my friend Rachel a couple of years back that I have edited a little bit in Photoshop. I believe this image exemplifies a modern update of the Mona Lisa. It's a portrait of a woman, with a plain look on her face, but there is a heavenly glow around her showing that she has some angelic value. I think that this sort of delves into what artists were trying to do back in this time with angels and demons, but this truly shows this girl adorned by a heavenly glow. But it also shows where we are with modern art these days. This portrait is not a painting, it is a picture I took that I took that has been digitally rendered which also represents how far our society has come technologically. But I think the true meaning of this work, what art critics and many others can really look at is that this girl and see what many believe that an angel is.

A heavenly figure that is full of mystery enshrined by a brilliant light. That's what I am trying to represent here, and this is what I hope that viewers can see in this work, but I also hope that it expands their minds and they can reflect on other facets of their lives through this work.

Virgin Of The Rocks (The facts)

-Virgin of the rocks was made by Leonardo Da Vinci.

-The version that hangs in the Louvre was painted through a period of three years from 1483-1486.

-There is another version that is in the National Gallery, London. It is thought that some of Leonardo’s assistants, the de Predis brothers helped out a lot with this version.

-The work that hangs in the national art gallery was painted for the chapel of the Confraternity of the Immaculate Conception in the church of San Francesco Grande in Milan.

-Same work was bought by National Gallery in 1880 after being sold to Gavin Hamilton in 1785.

-Both versions of this painting were painted on wood.

-The Louvre version probably came first because it resembles Leonardo's other works in the 1480s.

-First painting to be executed by Leonardo after he arrived to Milan.

-Argument over whether it shows the immaculate conception, or it recalls moment when Jesus as an infant met John the Baptist.

-Leonardo was commissioned to make this piece and was given a year to complete it, but he over ran his time and a law suit followed.

-Leonardo and his sponsors also argued about how much he should be paid for the piece.

-There are no halos in this piece on any of the angels, Jesus, or Mary, or anyone for that matter. That is the first time an Italian Renaissance artist did not use any halos in religious paintings.