Midterm: A photo can tell a story

I find Roland Barthes' "Camera Lucida" to be an irrelevant, confusing, extremely frustrating text that is just impossible to get into.  I do not have the patience for his writing style and I really just don't like this book.  The man also doesn't like film, which is his opinion but that automatically makes me scratch my head and be less open to his ideas and his writing.  

That's not to say that the book is a complete waste of time, the man is very smart and at times has some really interesting insight, but it feels like a lot of the time he's just all over the place in his descriptions and most of the time, he's just a really hard to follow guy.  

I did find a couple of interesting things in the book, but one quote specifically stuck out to me and made me think of the picture above that I posted.  

"Whatever it grants to vision and whatever its manner, a photograph is always invisible: it is not it that we see."

The picture above is from the cover box art to the game, "Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots", which happens to be one my favorite games of all time. MGS4 is the final chapter in the "Metal Gear" saga and concludes the story of series hero, Solid Snake as he embarks on his final mission to defeat his nemesis, Liquid Ocelot who is hellbent on world domination, and controls most of the world's military.  

The story follows Snake who is has grown substantially older due to a rapid aging disease that he has.  This disease is inhibiting Snake's abilities and is cutting into his life. He knows he is going to die soon, and accepts this mission with reluctance, but realizes that he is the only one who can stop Liquid.  

The game itself is a masterpiece in gameplay and in storytelling, but that really isn't what I want to focus on here, nor is it relevant to the assignment.

This picture in so many words just captures Snake completely.  You can see in that blue eye of his, all the battles he has fought, all the villains he has killed and just the psychological damage this has done to him.  He's a character that has been through so much and just sacrifices himself, especially in this chapter of the series for the greater good of the world.  

But to just the normal person who was to look at this, someone who doesn't have an emotional connection with this character, just this sullen look in his eye, this deep sadness he feels over not only his own impending death, but just the loneliness over his life really should just jump out to them.  He's a man who has always depended on himself and never let anyone into his life.  Because of this, he has never really experienced too many real human connections.  And even the few friends he does have, he never fully lets into his life making him even more isolated from everyone and everything.  I really get the sense of this more than ever of Snake's sadness and loneliness he feels on a daily basis through the cover of MGS4, and it really touches you and makes you feel a connection with Snake.  

The way Snake is treated in the game as a character, and just throughout all the games is great.  He goes through a lot of emotional changes, he loses and gains friends, he fights real and human enemies that you as a player can sympathize with and just the overall experience of the Metal Gear Solid games makes you feel like you are Snake, and it is through all of these experiences that you really love this character.  

But that look just embodies Snake and gets the player emotionally ready to go on that journey with Snake, as Snake.  That look, that look to me just captures what the character feels so much at this point in his life, and to me it's something that I can look at and just admire, not only because it has such a deep emotional meaning, but the craftsmanship of the art is just beautiful. I also think that the cliched statement of, "A picture says a thousand words" is actually true here.  Through this picture of Snake, you can really get a sense of who he is and how he feels.  And I feel that regardless of if a work is a painting or a photograph, that you should get a sense of how the subject being portrayed feels.  And I think that this picture of Snake does exactly that.  

"Ultimately Photography is subversive not when it frightens, repels, or even stigmatizes, but when it is pensive, when it thinks."

-Roland Barthes 

Barthes actually does have a really good point about the comparisons of art to photography.  He feels like the first person who saw a photograph probably thought it was a painting because he feels that photography is and always will be in painting's shadow.  I kind of feel the same way here.  This art work here, is in fact a piece of art, but it looks so realistic to the point that to me, from my point of view it is more of a photograph.  A snap shot of a character that encompasses every fiber in his being and brings him so to life that it is just absolutely insane in the sense of the feelings I feel from this picture of Snake.  

Photographs and paintings go hand in hand in many ways, but I feel like the best photographs, the best paintings trigger some sort of emotional reaction out of me.  Not only does this photograph/painting do this, but I think if this was hung at an art exhibit a lot of people would be mesmerized by the detail and emotions that Snake shows.  And an emotional connection to anything will make anyone out there feel good about themselves.  And that's a reason I always come back to things in my life that I really care about, because they make me feel good about myself, and that is and always will be a very, very good thing.  

To give you just an idea of what Solid Snake goes through in Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, here is the opening cut scene from the game.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKpd7i8nwEw is a better way to watch it, and I recommend watching it on youtube in high quality, but the video is here in its smaller form here below.  I think that if you watch it, you'll get a sense of the emotional power the source material comes from and you'll get a better sense of the character of Solid Snake.  

The Boy, The Man, The Journey- Part VIII: You And Me, Part I

From the moment I saw you open your door

I pointed to you, as I did I wanted you even more.

I knew I had to find a way to earn your trust

I don't know how much I have left, it's either you or bust.

And as I held your hand that night

You made me feel like everything was going to be all right.

And as we looked at each other and I moved in closely

I couldn't believe it when you began to kiss me.

So we talked again, we agreed to give it a try.

I wasn't full of regret, I didn't even lie.

Things were finally going perfectly

Someone was finally taking my feelings seriously.

Everyday was a gift, there was nothing we couldn't endure.

You'd run over to me and I'd hold you, it made me feel so sure

That this could actually work out, I knew what I had to do,

I worked so hard those few days so that I could be with you.

Now the truth came out and crushed my heart.

I sit here all alone, feeling like I've been torn apart.

While I agree that we were moving way too fast,

I thought finally I'd found something that could last.

Is there a wall between us, or is there hope?

I really wish we could make a decision, all I can do is mope.

And now you're fading fast, now it seems like you are gone.

Is there something I did that was wrong?

As I looked into your eyes there was nothing in the way,

All I wanted to do was be with you all day.

But then the case was closed, my life was history

If there was someone, you were right for me.

I know it's only been one day, but I miss you so much.

I don't know why I've become so attached, it must have been your touch.

You were everything I wanted, and maybe one day we can pick up where we left off.

I really hope we do, because right now I'm just so lost.

I've been down this line before, I've had lots of strange affairs.

My heart's sunk and risen and gone everywhere.

You're not playing games with me, but somewhere down the line you need to be straight forward,

I just need to know what you're leaning toward.

I wish there was something you would do or say

I think that it went well, but I don't want it to end this way.

But I get the feeling that both of us can tell that things will never be the same.

Is that just me, or will there be a day when you never call my name?

Every moment we were together I took it seriously.

I looked into your eyes and knew you were an echantress, full of mystery.

All I want to do is to kiss you strong and slow.

Please let's make this work, because I don't want you to go.

You're smart, and so am I.

Our decisions are justified.

But I'm just so sad, because we agreed on something and then we realized

That we made a mistake and to each other, we lied.

You aren't like the others, in fact you are the best.

You aren't crazy, but you still cause me unrest.

I have so much about myself that I still don't know

What else is there that I have to show?

For those few weeks, I kept my mouth shut.

All I could do was sit back and yearn for your love.

I can't take this anymore, the pain and misery

No one ever takes my feelings seriously.

When I talked to you again, I failed

You seemed afraid, your complexion became so pale.

You snapped and told me to slow down and brought me back to reality.

As a result, I've said goodbye to your company.

All I was asking is how you felt, nothing more.

You reacted as if I had beaten down your bedroom door.

I get where you're coming from, but you seem so sad

All I've ever wanted to do was make you glad.

I'm willing to give you as much time as you need this Fall.

Just know that I am here awaiting your call.

I can't stop until I have you again, it's something I need almost desperately

But three weeks from now, will you still need me?

If we never do this again, I want to thank you for the moments that we shared.

I know they were few, but I was always happy, never scared.

Oh, I hope this does not turn out like the rest of my history,

All I want is you, all I want is you and me.

Strangers In The Night

Dear Sir,

You sit in here all night, always waiting for someone, but never finding anyone.  You lift your head up for a moment and stare at those around you.  Fellow drunks, slobs and others lie alone.  Some stir, others lie motionless as if they had long since left this world.

Every night, every day you are glued to this seat.  Pint in your hand, grizzled beard covered in nothing but dirt and grease.  Lay your head back down and piss your life away.  

This place drives you insane.  One place, everyday, one chair, one thought: isolation.  The ultimate form isolation.  Putting yourself in one place, why don't you change?  Do something different.  Make a change.  You complained your whole life about how everything is against you, if that's true then why don't you fight?  Lying down, doing nothing and wasting away in this dark and dank place does nothing for you.

You sit up again.  Life is useless, meaningless.  You don't even want to live anymore, but it's the only thing you've ever known, so you just keep doing it.  

Why do something that has no point?  Why torture yourself?  Why do nothing with your life when you can do or could have done so much.  

Regret.  That is what you live with.  Fear, fear to change.  That is what holds you back, that is what keeps you in this musty place day after day.  

Try to make something of what you have left.

-Anonymous.

Found

It was my birthday a couple of weeks ago and I got a nice present from someone who is arguably my favorite teacher ever.  Her name is Olga and she basically has taught me math for my entire life.  

She has been tutoring me since elementary school on and off and she works at my the high school my mom is a guidance counselor at.  I was then lucky enough to go to that high school and be fully taught by Olga for the first time as her student.  It was truly an honor.

Olga is one of the nicest, smartest and greatest people I've ever met.  She has a huge heart and is willing to do absolutely anything for her friends and family.  She has endured many hardships through her life.  She was raised in a one room apartment with about five other families by her mom.  Through her later years she and her mother would legally immigrate from Russia to America, and after a lengthy legal process, they finally made it.  They didn't know one word of English, but would later learn the language and gain full citizenship.  Olga herself started out as a hair dresser, but would later get a degree and began teaching at the Benjamin Franklin Academy in the early 90s.  

These two items, one that says, "Dearest Graham, happy 19th!  Two more years and we'll drink together!  Love you!  Always yours, Olgie".  That made me smile.  Olga sacrificed a lot of time and effort teaching me and being there for me and this is just another example of her love for me.  The second picture is a strange sort of Rorschach drawing that she made on a napkin during an extremely boring faculty meeting.  

I really love this napkin drawing because it's so simplistic and is just there for me to appreciate. It has nice colors, it's not too abstract and it's just there for me to enjoy.  It's something I can look at, appreciate and make me feel good and remember how awesome Olga is.

Both of these items are near and dear to my heart and remind me of the great times I shared with Olga.  To the outside eye, it might not seem like too much, but when you've got as a deep as a relationship as I have with Olga, anything you get from someone you really care about, a great friend like her, will always brighten your day.  It sure as hell brightened mine.  

The Boy, The Man, The Journey-Part VII: Trying To Be Free

Trying to be Free:

You’d better start doing something soon the sun has begun to set.

You say you’re going to do something but I have yet

To really see you put any effort forth

Into becoming a person of worth.

Nothing is their fault, it’s all on you.  

Now wake up and stop acting like a fool.  

Did you really believe that she’d take you with her on her trip?

Did you really think that you’d be together on that ship?

How blind could you be?

You were in denial but now you see

How wrong it was to not go back to school.

And now you’ve got nothing to do.  

You live in the past and hold on to all that’s out of range.

Instead you should focus on the things that you can change.  

Nothing is much fun anymore.

It’s all been ruined many times before.

Why are you still sitting here like a tool?  

Go make something of yourself you fool.  

You give up and you stay up late.

Nothing is important, nothing matters, ain't it great?

Now you’re discovering that it’s not 

Worth it to trap yourself inside this box.

Now the gray clouds are forming above you.

And now the rain is falling, too.  

And when you go to that far away place

Away from all the people that you think have sealed your fate.

How will you react when you walk through those doors?

The thoughts might still be there just like before.

You will be nothing if you don’t believe it’s true

That you can change and stop being so blue.  

Who cares about the things you think about?

No one does, and neither should you, so you should block it out.  

There’s no reason to hang on to it at all.  

In fact, I don’t know why you’re still taking the fall.  

Let it go, it’s only destroying you.  

You’ve got to understand that this is something you’ve got to do.

Get your things right now it’s time to go.

Please do everything you can and don’t give up hope

That you can do anything.

And believe me you’re far from going insane.  

Stop your bullshit, listen to you heart and go out and prove

That you’ve got a reason for being here, too.    

Accept it for what it is, now let’s move on.  

Nothing’s been ruined, nothing is wrong.  

It’s going to be ok.  

I know it doesn’t seem like it but some day,

You’re going to wake up and feel fresh and renewed,

And you’ll soar out into the sky like a bird that flew. 

Our greatest asset, our greatest downfall.

"I think technology is going to be our downfall".  

That is really the last thing my roommate and good friend, Fritz, or as some of you know him, Zach Strum, said about the subject of what defines our society these days, and that subject in my opinion and in my group's opinion was technology.  How it affects us as a society, and how it affects each of us personally is a fascinating subject to delve into.  

Technology has offered society many great advancements in the way we live.  That is really an undeniable fact.  The advancement in medicine and machinery has vastly improved the way we as a society live.  But technology has hindered us to the point where we are so reliant on it, that we almost can't live without it.  That's not a good thing.  My friend, Tyler, has a similar viewpoint on this subject as well.

"As a society, I think technology is a double edged sword.  On one hand it has brought us greater methods of communication, and has enlightened the lives of the sick, the needy and brought the world a new way of being together.  

I really do agree with Fritz, because technology really does make you lazy.  You know on Dominos.com how you can track your delivery?  I think that's sick."

By sick, Tyler of course meant disgusting.  I agree with Tyler, it's like how much do we really need to know about everything?  It seems like the internet becomes this infinite resource, and while that's a really cool idea, it just feels like we can get things way too easily through the internet and we don't really have to work for it like past generations did.  Granted, life's still tough and all that stuff, but the internet has simplified things to the point where I feel like sometimes I don't even have to think about things because the internet has all the answers.  

A V.A. student we interviewed, Cindy, has a similar take.

"We overlook everything, technology causes that.  We're all way too in touch with each other.  We just can't sit back and be, we just can't exist."

I agree with Cindy as well.  Her viewpoint, which is similar to Tyler's really exemplifies the problem with the internet and that is that we are just way too into each other to the point where we are all just consumed with each other's lives.  In some ways that's good, but in other's it's just strange.  It's like we as a society build off this digital way of living and sort of lose connection of just seeing someone and talking with them face to face.  The internet and cell phone text messaging (God I hate that so much) is really just making us incredibly introverted and is completely changing the way we communicate with each other, and I feel like it's leading us to the point where all of us will be living under rocks, not doing anything but just being wrapped up our gadgets and machinery, not seeing each other in the flesh, but in solely virtual reality. 

I love all that stuff, I mean movies, video games, music and television are my life.  They're great escapes and can take you on real emotional and beautiful journeys, but as Chris McCandless, the main character in the film "Into The Wild" says, or writes rather is that, "Happiness, only true when shared."  You can't find total happiness I believe unless you make with a real person, face to face.  There really is no other connection like that.  All the other stuff is great, I love it.  But to truly feel like you're really, really, just insanely happy, you've just got to have that real human connection.  

"I don't really like technology, I think it's ruined a lot of us, and I think we're really lazy now," Fritz says after a minute, but he pauses and then says, "I probably spend way too much time on my computer...."  It's funny to me how even though people know they shouldn't be so reliant on technology, and shouldn't be so plugged into the virtual world, they still are.  

I too, am incredibly reliant on technology.  Point in case, my commonplace book is a freaking blog.  There's nothing really wrong with that, but at the same time, it's not the most creative thing in the world.  A lot of people really work their asses off in not only constructing their commonplace books, but the work inside them are really cool because it just feels so raw and pure in its presentation.  I like my blog, I feel like I get my opinions out there, but it doesn't feel as real as some of the commonplaces I've seen that aren't blogs.  

I love movies, video games, music, the internet, all that stuff.  I'm a big fan of it all, but at the same time it really does isolate us to the point of where machines take over completely.  This leads us to our feature presentation and how I really feel like what film really defines not only our time, but very possibly our future.  That film is, "The Matrix".

Forget about the sequels (Reloaded was cool though and Revolutions does have the epicness that is Neo Vs. Smith flying around and kicking each other's asses in the final climatic fight, but they're not compared to their predecessor), The Matrix has so many ideas and so many thoughts on our society in general that it's just insane.  

The thought that the world we live in, our very existence is nothing but a computer program that is keeping us from the truth, keeping us from what really is, is just a brilliant idea.

The main character, Neo, is a computer hacker that lives out a rather meaningless existence.  He is constantly plugged in.  A computer hacker by night and holding a boring office job by day, Neo's life is very boring and flat out uninteresting, and rather sad in the sense that he lives so much and relies so much on computers.

But when Neo goes through a radical life changing experience, where he is freed from the virtual world known as the Matrix, and is taught the history of the world by his mentor, Morpheus.  Morpheus explains to him that it's not really the year 1999, but yet sometime in the realm of the year 2050.  He also explains that before the end of the new millennium, humans were joined together in a state of utopia because of the successful creation of artificial intelligence.  But later, because of the human's reliance on these new machines they had created, it led to their downfall.  Cities were destroyed and ravaged in a massive war between machine and man.  The humans later retreated underground and forged the final human city, Zion in a last ditch effort for survival.  

Ok, maybe something not as dramatic as this could happen, but who knows?  This really was the first film that I saw where I really began to notice that we as a society are so damn reliant on these machines that it's just ridiculous.  We take so much pride in our creations and are so caught up in them that one day someone is going to invent A.I. and these machines could easily rebel against us.  That's why I think the Wachowski brothers who wrote and directed the film, really capture their whole idea about this scary futuristic world in this 15 minute scene between Neo and Morpheus and really personify and explore so many fears and so many untapped and scary possibilities that most people probably couldn't conceive of.  I just really like stories like this that make me think.  In this case, about the future, I love it when I can really see a scenario happening and I can be in awe of it.  This whole concept is just shell shocking to the core.  What if the life you'd lived was just a lie and that you were just in this computer world and then suddenly brought out of it into the real world.  It's just such a cool concept, and combined with the war between machine and man is just fascinating stuff.   

The film itself is mind blowing in all respects.  A first rate action picture with great characters, a great villain, an excellent, scary story and of course, visually, it's the most brilliant film ever. When a film can be just perfect story wise and technically wise, that's when everything comes together and The Matrix is a perfect example of that.  "Curiosity is the starting point of genius", says Baudelaire.  How incredibly true, and the Wachowski brothers, Larry and Andy were just so curious about the possibilities of the future and the curiosity really filled their passion, and they created this incredibly dark and thought provoking world.  

Technology is a good thing in many respects, but I feel like every day we become more and more reliant on it to the point where I fear it will totally and completely consume our lives. And we've just accepted it too much as a part of our life, sort of a second nature sort of thing, and it'll lead to us living a more isolated lifestyle more about virtual connection than human connection.  And that's one thing that we as a society, really can't afford to lose.